21 simple ways to strengthen your marriage.

There are millions of way to strengthen your marriage. In no particular order, here are twenty-one…

1. Have more SEX, but make sure you’re ONLY having it with each other!

2. Don’t keep secrets from each other. COMMUNICATE about everything.

3. Argue less. Cuddle more.

4. Don’t get deep in debt and if you’re already there, work together to get out of it!

5. Pray together, find a healthy church and make FAITH a foundation for your life together.

6. Turn off your phones. Talking with each other is better than texting with someone else!

7. Pull the car over and make out more often.

8. Leave LOVE NOTES for each other.

9. Send flowers on unexpected days, not just holidays.

10. Don’t ignore problems in your relationship. Deal with them quickly and aggressively.

11. Be quick to remember each other’s positive traits and quick to forget each other’s flaws.

12. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive and seek FORGIVENESS when you’ve wronged each other.

13. Don’t waste time or energy comparing your lives to anyone else’s. God’s plan for you is masterfully unique.

14. Go on long walks and HOLD HANDS.

15. Make “DATE NIGHT” a priority! Time alone together is vital for your continued growth and health.

16. Give COMPLIMENTS constantly, and never give insults.

17. When you’re happy, laugh together. When you’re sad, cry together. Whatever you do, do it together!

18. Show LOVE and RESPECT to each other even in those moments when you don’t feel like it.

19. Keep dreaming new dreams and making big plans together. Don’t get stuck in a predictable rut.

20. ENCOURAGE each other. Build each other up so much that nothing in the world can tear you down.

21. NEVER give up on each other!

For more tips and tools to building a stronger marriage, please check out our new book: Marriage Minute: Quick and Simple ways to build a Divorce-Proof Relationship

41 thoughts on “21 simple ways to strengthen your marriage.


  1. Nicole

    I absolutely love this!! I am going try every step since my partner and I are going through hard times, I’d like to save our relationship and this gives me hope!

    Reply

  2. Stephanie

    Why does it seem like these are so easy on paper? Reading them I think, we don’t do that. We need to do that, etc. But we don’t. Ugh, its frustrating

    Reply

    1. Cait

      take it one step at a time. In the moment when your about to do something that sabotages your relationship stop yourself then replace it with a positive thing instead. The big picture can be overwhelming but if you break it down and do one little thing at a time you will see such a difference!


    1. Christina

      I’d say that we should start by forgiving each other… Then, sit down with our spouse and read the steps together :)


    2. Ian

      That God is faithful to turn our mnoruing into gladness. He can take this tragic experience and make beauty out of it by giving me understanding and compassion for others and teaching me to cherish my family on earth even more.


    3. Erika

      You start by sitting your spouse down, showing them the list and let them know you want to begin again. You also need to maybe seek out a marriage mentor couple to help you work through or possibly a counselor or pastor as well. Also my husband and I went through a devotional together Marriage 101 it was a great tool to get us back where we needed to be.


    4. Christie

      You need to forgive and only fix you. Every thing else will take care of itself.


  3. Michael Foster

    Simplicity is beautiful. God has already done the truly most difficult part for us – Creation. All we have to do now is nourish it in each other. I like this 21.

    Reply

  4. Jackie

    Tip about #7 …. just make sure the kids aren’t IN the car. ;) And leave the dog at home too.

    Reply

    1. stacy

      U keep going let god tug at his heart. Just ask time for church we would like to see u their.


  5. Jack Hill

    Great list. I try to do some of these as much as possible and it’s nice to get some new ideas… Honey are you reading this? :-)
    A relationship would be doing incredibly great if both would work daily on this list!

    Reply

  6. Tina

    Love this! To the people who have a hard time putting it in action, I find it helpful to write a few of these you want to work on somewhere that you will see them often. I’ve even written things down on my hand before so I could look down and remember what I wanted to be doing. Once you get the hang of it these all become second nature. It is hard to remember these things at first, especially when things are really stressful or you are upset, but the suggestions I have found on this page have helped me out so much in my relationship and made me look forward to marriage even more!

    Reply

  7. Paul

    I’m holding on to the last step, my wife of almost 18 years has chosen separation. I love her deeply, dynamics of life & situations have taken their toll.. I trust in God. -Micah 7:7

    Reply

  8. Renae

    This list is great but I can’t even get my husband to speak to me right now, separated for two weeks and hardly anything said. Not sure how to get him to open up or even try these days.

    Reply

  9. Nichole

    So, singer of these are really good ideas. I struggle to understand why praying together and having a good religious foundation isn’t number 1. Certainly, sex is great and can break a relationship but it does not make a relationship work. marriages that center their marriage around Christ are not only healthier but have a lower divorce rate. as well, making out? how about some love and respect? it’s a continuous circle… men need respect and they feel loved when they are respected. women on the other hand need love and feel respected when they are loved. Read the book ‘ love and respect’ by dr. eggrich… it changed our relationship and we are stronger now that ever before. not to mention our faith as well.

    Reply

  10. Alise

    We do all of these except number 5 and we have a wonderful marriage! So I definitely agree, this is a great list! But to us, the faith thing isn’t important and never has been. You don’t have to be religious to have a healthy, happy marriage. I think what IS important is that you’re both on the same page about religion and share the same beliefs, whatever those beliefs are (even if it’s a lack of any beliefs). Being on the same page about big things like religion, politics, money, etc. is extremely important for a relationship to work.

    Reply

  11. suzy

    These are great steps. There was a time in our lives that my husband & I had to seek marital counseling. It was so worth it. Anything valuable is worth the input & sometimes its hard work. We have been married almost 27 years; have had to deal with losing very close loved ones, the loss of our baby & a child with a life-threatening illness, losing our home of over 10 yrs, loss of unemployment & eachother’s medical illnesses…other stuff as well. I only list this to say staying together is possible. Life is always going to throw obstacles, throw them back.

    Reply

  12. Melissa Fleetwood

    Never go to bed mad at each other, say I love you because you never know if you are going to wake up. I absolutely love this and it’s very sound advice.

    Reply

  13. michael

    Thank you Rachel for sending this to me . I wish there was hope. I will always love her.

    Reply

  14. Stacy

    Having a medically terminated pregnancy due to a poor life expectancy, and then our home going into foreclosure/moving, husband being discharged from the Air Force and reduction of his hours at work…..its really hard to keep going. Its really hard to keep the faith when I want to talk but wind up screaming because his head is buried in his phone or he comes up with another excuse as to why he can’t do something. Our life is a disaster right now and he pretends that its just another hunky dory day. I know its his way of coping, but my way of coping is to face things head on and find a solution. He likes to bury his head in the sand until the problem goes away or someone else handles it. How do you find your way back from that? I’ve been horrible to him, giving him my complete honesty on how he has ruined our lives from his lack of dealing with anything. How does he find his way back to me from that?! I don’t want divorce, I do love him, he does not want divorce, I know he loves me, but I feel like there has been way too much of a buildup of resentment over the last 6 years (been married for 10) and there is no way back from it…..

    Reply

    1. Tina

      Please pray with all your heart. I have been divorced from my first husband for about 3 years. I still love him but he has moved on b/c he didn’t love me anymore. If you both know you still love each other, don’t give up. Sounds like you aren’t friends anymore. Try to remember what you enjoyed about each other’s company and build on that. You have to like each other to start over. Relationships aren’t 50/50, they are 100/100. Prayer and faith have saved alot of relationships worse off that yours. Just don’t give in to Satan’s lies.


    2. Monique

      Don’t give up hope. Just begin making attempts to putting any of these steps into practice. It will take root.


  15. ashley

    I remember about 6 months ago my marriage was a fairy tale, so perfect! I was pregnant, glowing and so happily a newlywed. I remember my husband and I reading this ans we literally already did every single one of thes3 things. Now, everything has fallen apart and we dont do a single onw of these anymore. This is a great reminder of why our marriage was so great! We nees us time too!

    Reply

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