What happens when you say “yes” to God.

Have you ever felt like you should do something, but you really didn’t want to do it?

This tug-of-war between my selfishness and my conscience happens more thank I’d like to admit. There have been so many times my selfish side wins out and I completely and willfully ignore an opportunity for a life-changing moment. There have been other times when I swallow my pride and say “Yes” to God. Those are the moments that have become turning points in my life and have taught me a life-changing principle: God will never ask you to let go of anything unless He intends to replace it with something better. 

*As a quick disclaimer, this principle does NOT mean that God is going to tell you to give up your spouse or your kids so you can replace them with somebody “better.” You’ve got to be permanently committed to your faith and you family, but anything or anyone else in your life might be something God will eventually ask you to cut loose. That’s when this principle applies.

One of the most dramatic examples of this principle happened a few years ago when my family was preparing to move from Florida back to our home in Georgia. I was having breakfast with a pastor in town named Andre. I loved hanging out with “Pastor Andre” for a several reasons. First off, he was South African so he had a super cool accent. Almost everything he said sounded sophisticated. I grew up in Kentucky, so my accent, by contrast, is the opposite of cool and sophisticated. I was hoping that just be associating with Andre, people might start assuming that I was cool too.

As much as I loved the accent, that wasn’t the real reason I loved hanging out with him. Andre had an inspiring and contagious passion for helping the homeless community in our area. As he would talk about Jesus’ teachings and how we are all called to help “the least of these,” he would beam with energy and vision for the homeless people in our area. He was putting his faith into action and it challenged me to do the same. After a cup of coffee and conversation of Andre, I always felt like by body and my soul had both just received a jolt of caffeine!

As we were sitting at Panera and I was munching a bagel, I asked Andre what his outreach ministry needed at the moment. I was really just making conversation; I didn’t believe I would be able to do much to help. Andre said, “Our biggest need right now is transportation for these men and women. They have places to go like job training and addiction recovery programs, but they don’t have a way to get there. If we had a van, we could take them to them to these places and open up a new world for them.”

It was at that moment, I felt like God was giving me a nudge. I’ve never heard Him audibly speak, but the message seemed  crystal clear in this moment. The whisper in my spirit was saying, “Give him your van.”

At the time we had a van. It was actually our primary vehicle, even though it was pretty beat up. I had bought it for a couple thousand bucks on Craigslist and it had always had engine trouble plus this strange lasagna-like smell that we could never cover up no matter how much Lysol we sprayed into the van. On top of that, my rambunctious kids had added a bunch of new stains and new smells of their own. The car was on its last leg. Even my mechanic told me that it was on death’s door.

The van wasn’t much, but I still had no interest in giving it away. I mean, it might have smelled like old lasagna, but it was still running. I could get something for it. And besides all that, I’m cheap! That’s why I bought an old van in the first place.

God knows I’m cheap. He made me this way. Surely someone else could give them a van. I was mentally having this argument in my mind while Andre continued on with his world-changing plea in that beautiful accent and finally I blurted out what I should have said right from the beginning, “I think God wants me to give you my van. I want to give you my van.”

Andre was elated. I was terrified. I knew I had done exactly what God wanted me to do and I knew that God always takes care of His kids and we can always trust Him, and yet, the selfish part of me wondered if I had just made a huge mistake.

Fast forward a few weeks later. My family is back in Georgia and recovering from the emotional and physical trauma that results from an interstate move with small kids in tow. We sold our remaining car to free up some cash until we closed on our house, so for the first time in our marriage, we didn’t own a car. I was borrowing a car from my parents.

There were many moments during those trying weeks of transition while we were sleeping on air mattresses and driving around in a crowded, borrowed car when I was silently venting my frustration to God. I remember thinking, “Lord, why on earth did you have me give that van away? We don’t have anything to replace it! Was that really you speaking to me or was it just the burrito I ate the night before?”

It was during one of these venting moments that my phone rang. It was a guy from church named Gary. I didn’t know Gary and his wife, Sue, very well at the time but they were about to change our lives and begin a friendship that would become a permanent source of encouragement to us.

Gary started off the phone conversation by saying, “Hey Dave, this is Gary. Look, I know this might sound pretty crazy. It actually sounds pretty crazy to me. I mean, I’ve never done anything like this before, but I heard your family doesn’t have a vehicle currently and I feel strongly that God is telling me to buy you a brand new van.”

A new van! I didn’t even know they came new. I had been buying used junkers for so long that I didn’t even know new ones were an option!

My mouth was hanging open like I had just seen a spaceship with Elvis Presley waving from a window. I was stunned I was speechless. I felt like God was winking at me and reminding me of that beautiful truth: He will never take anything from you unless He intends to replace it with something better!

In your life, whenever you lose a job, an investment or even a relationship, trust that God will fill that empty space with a great blessing. It won’t always be something you can measure with monetary value, but life’s greatest gifts can’t be bought or sold. The bottom line is this: God is for you, He loves you and His plans for your life are even better than your own plans! 

Below is one of my favorite promises from the Bible as well as a picture of the van in our garage (just in case you thought I was making it up!) If you’d like more inspiration and encouragement, please check out my FREE video on How to Change the World and also Check out our books on Amazon here.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

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This van was an unbelievable gift, but it’s not just because of the value or practical function of the vehicle. It was an amazing gift because even long after it’s in a junkyard somewhere, it will serve as a reminder of God’s faithfulness and provision.

5 ways to improve your marriage using your smart phone

We live in an age of technology where most people spend more time with their cell phones than they spend with their husbands or wives. All this technology overload has done some significant damage to marriages which my wife, Ashley, and I discuss in our short YouTube video on why Your iPhone might be hurting your marriage.

Despite the negative drawbacks our phones can potentially have on our relationships, these tiny supercomputers can also be a powerful tool for building relationships. If you’ll apply the five simple principles below to your daily routine, I’m convinced your marriage will be stronger by tomorrow. Seriously. Give it a try!

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1. Turn off your phone when you’re with your spouse.

I know this isn’t always practical, but whenever possible, keep your phone off when you’re together. Talking with your spouse is always better than texting with somebody else! Once the temptation to constantly check your texts and social media feeds is temporarily turned off, you’ll be able to engage in much more meaningful conversation with your spouse.

2. Answer your phone every time your spouse calls.

Even if you have to make the call quick and tell him/her that you’ll call back as soon as you can, always make the effort to answer when your spouse is calling. It’s one of the simplest and most practical ways to show them the place of priority they have in your mind, your heart, and your schedule.

3. Flirt with your spouse via text messages throughout the day.

When you’re apart, use your phone to stay connected. A simple text message can communicate thoughtfulness. It let’s your spouse know that they’re on your mind! The texts can be just to check in with each other or they can be fun and flirty or they can be really steamy. That’s up to you! The bottom line is that communication always creates stronger intimacy.

4. Delete the contacts of any “friends” who are a negative influence.

This one might be tough, but it’s hugely important. Few things will impact the course of your life and marriage like the voices you allow to be your influences. If there’s anyone in your contacts list who is consistently a negative voice, you need to remove their influence from your life. Surround yourself with people who will strengthen your character and remove yourself from people who would attempt to compromise your character.

5. Use your phone to watch and/or read marriage-building resources.

Instead of using the technology to view stuff that will harm your marriage (like porn), watch videos and read ebooks which will actually have a positive impact on your relationship.

A few resources to help you get started are our FREE 4-part video series on The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage and our bestselling book, “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” which you can download on Amazon Kindle here or you can download on iTunes for iPhones and iPads here.

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iVow is also available as a paperback through Amazon.