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Six Keys to Better Sex.

Watch a free video preview of our new series “Best Sex Life Now” by clicking here. This new series on sex is one of the most practical and beneficial marriage-building resources we’ve ever been part of creating. Check it out!

When you and your spouse improve your sex life, you’ll simultaneously improve your marriage. It’s as simple as that. It takes a lot more than a great sex life to build a great marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a great marriage without it!

As I’ve interacted with couples from all over the world, I’ve discovered that there seems to be an epidemic of unfulfilling sex (or sometimes no sex at all) happening in modern marriages. This tragic neglect or misunderstanding of sexuality has the potential to wreck a marriage. Don’t let that happen!

Sex is a beautiful, God-given gift. You should make it a priority. You should enjoy it. Your spouse should enjoy it too.

Every couple is different and there is rarely a “one-size-fits-all” approach to anything, but I’m convinced that this six basic principles would instantly improve the sexual fulfillment in most marriages. Give it a try! This is the kind of “homework” you’ll actually enjoy. :)

These first three apply BEFORE sex:

1. Make foreplay an all-day event.

Foreplay shouldn’t start thirty seconds before you plan to have intercourse (I’m talking to my fellow men out there on this one)! Find ways to flirt with each other throughout the day. Send flirtatious and/or thoughtful text messages to let your spouse know they’re on your mind. Those consistent little acts will help set the mood for romance later.

2. Tell your secrets.

One of the biggest barriers to true intimacy in marriage is a lack of trust. Your spouse needs to feel completely safe and secure with you to fully engage in sexual intimacy. Secrecy is an enemy of intimacy, so make sure you’re communicating consistently, openly and honestly at all times. Your transparency will create trust and that trust will ultimately create better sex (and a better marriage).

3. Serve each other.

You should serve each other throughout the day so that your spouse’s mind can be freed up to enjoy the moment. Husband, this might mean washing the dishes or folding laundry. Wives, this might mean giving your husbands a back rub to help him relax. Find ways to serve each other and you’ll be building a bond of intimacy before you even get to bed.

These next three apply DURING sex:

4. Tell your spouse what you like (and what you don’t like)

Your spouse is not a mindreader. Be open and honest about what feels good and what makes you uncomfortable. Communication is vital to a mutually pleasurable experience.

5. Have fun.

If your’e not having fun while you’re having sex, then you’re doing something wrong! Bring your sense of humor. Be playful. Be adventurous. If it always feels like work, then talk to your spouse about the issues that might be holding you both back.

6. Be mentally monogamous. 

Don’t bring outside “fantasy” into your bedroom. Both your body and your mind have to be fully present in the moment, so don’t allow porn or erotic romance novels to put images in your mind that will create fantasies that don’t involve your spouse. True intimacy requires monogamy (both physically and mentally).

For more ways to enhance your sexual intimacy, check out our brand new resource

For additional tools, you should read our bestselling book, “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” which is available on Amazon as a Paperback, Kindle ebook and audiobook (by clicking here) and is now also available on iTunes as an ebook download for iPhones, iPads and all Apple devices (by clicking here)


The first 3 chapters of iVow are available as a free download when you subscribe to our email list at the top of this page.

For ongoing encouragement and marriage-building tools, you can also connect with me on twitter by clicking here.

Some BIG announcements

First off, thank you so much for being part of our online community. My wife, Ashley, and I are honored to have the opportunity to send encouragement and marriage-building tools your way and we greatly appreciate the encouraging words you have shared with us as well. We wanted you to be among the first to know about some exciting new developments:

1. Ashley has just launched her new blog at and she’s already written several great posts on marriage and parenting. I think you’ll find her down-to-earth style and humor very refreshing and encouraging. Please connect with her online when you get a chance.

2. Our bestselling book, “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” is now available as an audiobook on iTunes by clicking here. We hope this new resource will be another practical way you can be encouraged and equipped in your marriage.

3. I’m excited to announce that I’m working on a new book tentatively entitled The 7 Laws of Love” which will be published by Thomas Nelson Publishers and released in January 2016. I hope this new book encourages a lot of people. I’ll probably be blogging less over the next few months to devote more time to writing the book.

4. Ashley and I are partnering with Craig Gross of to produce a video series designed to help married couples enhance their sex lives. You can get a free sneak preview at

5. We are partnering with to create an online course based on iVow. There will be a version for married couples and a separate edition exclusively for engaged couples to help them prepare for marriage. I’ll let you know as soon as these resources are available.

6. We’re working with our friends at Truth Web Design to create a new Marriage app you’ll be able to put on your smart phone. It will have all of my ebooks preloaded along with daily encouragement from the Marriage facebook page and some cutting-edge messaging features to keep you in constant contact with your spouse. We’ll let you know as so as it’s in the app store.

7. Many of you have asked for updates on Ashley’s pregnancy and I’m happy to report that Ashley is doing great (apart from being tired from pregnancy and chasing around three rambunctious boys)! Thanks for all your prayers and encouraging words. We’ll be posting plenty of pics of baby Chatham when we arrives in February.

Thank you again for your encouragement and support. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to our email list at the top of this page for continuing updates and a free marriage ebook download and you can also connect with me on twitter by clicking here. You guys rock.

Dave Willis Ashley Willis family kids

Sending love from Dave, Ashley, Cooper, Connor, Chandler and Chatham (arriving February 2015). :)