8 Ways to Wreck a Marriage

As I’ve interacted with couples from all over the world, I’ve discovered most marriage problems can be traced back to a few deadly (but also very common) mistakes. Here’s a list of some of the most common marriage-killing behaviors. Avoid these at all costs and you’ll be taking a big step towards building a divorce-proof marriage!

couple in bed not talking

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8 Ways to Wreck a Marriage

1. Stop communicating with your spouse.

Communication does for a marriage what breathing does for lungs. Communication is the the lifeline of any relationship, so if you stop communicating with your spouse, you’re choosing to starve your marriage of one of its most basic needs.

2. Confide in a “friend” of the opposite sex.

One of the most common patterns I’ve seen among divorcing couples is that one of the spouses develops an attachment with someone of the opposite sex for emotional support instead of looking to their spouse for that support. The moment you allow someone else take your spouse’s place in your mind, your heart or your bed, you’ve made a choice to wreck your marriage.

3. Stop making love.

Sex is a God-given gift to bring fulfillment, intimacy and mutual bonding to a husband and wife. The moment you stop prioritizing what happens in the bedroom, your marriage might be headed for a courtroom.

4. Belittle, nag or insult your spouse.

You should be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not their biggest critic! If your communication has taken on a consistently negative tone, then your marriage will quickly take on a negative tone as well.

5. Keep secrets from your spouse.

Secrets in marriage are as dangerous as lies. If you start hiding money, conversations or anything else from your spouse, you’re choosing to sabotage your relationship.

6. Blame your spouse for your problems.

Couples who make it are the ones who choose to work together to find solutions. Couples who don’t make it are the ones who blame each other instead of supporting each other.

7. Surround yourself with people who don’t know or don’t like your spouse.

The wrong friends can wreck a marriage. If you surround yourself with people who support your marriage, your marriage will probably improve. If you surround yourself with people who don’t support your marriage, then you need some new friends.

8. Give up.

The couples who make it aren’t the ones who never had a reason to get divorced, they are simply the ones who choose to find a way to make it work. They’ve discovered that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!

For more tools to help you build a rock-solid marriage, check out our bestselling book, iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage which is now also available on iTunes for download on iPhones and iPads.


3 reasons to wear your wedding ring.

There’s been a shift in our culture away from wearing wedding rings, which has stirred up debate over whether the rings are still necessary or if they’ve become an outdated concept. I never take my ring off, so some of this might just be a matter of my own personal preference, but I believe there are some very important reasons to wear your ring. I’m certainly not trying judge people who choose not to wear their ring, but I do strongly believe there are important reasons to wear it.

Below are a few of the most important reasons:

wedding rings

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com 

1. In Public…

Wearing your ring in public shows the world that you value your spouse and the covenant of your marriage. When you meet someone new for the first time, one of the very first things they are likely to notice about you is whether or not you’re wearing a wedding ring, and they’ll often make assumptions (whether true or untrue) about your character and your “availability” based on the presence or absence of a ring.

2. In Private…

I wear my ring even when I’m alone, because it reminds me that everything I do, whether in public or in private, doesn’t affect myself only, but also impacts my wife, Ashley. Wearing my ring in private is also a tangible way to be constantly reminded of our constant connection whether we’re physically together or apart.

3. When together with your spouse…

We wear our rings together when it’s just the two of us, as a visual symbol of our past promises, our present blessings and our shared destiny for the future. When we’re holding hands and feel each other’s ring, it’s another tangible reminder of the beautiful commitment we have with each other.

Wearing your ring is a simple way to visibly display the place of priority your spouse has in your heart and in your life.

For more tips and tools to build a rock-solid marriage, check out our bestselling book, iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage which is now also available for iTunes for download on iPhones and iPads.